We all know them: the crazy-makers in our lives. These are the people who simply can’t live without the drama. No matter how good things are going, there is always something to complain about. They press, prod and manipulate just about everyone around them into doing what they think is best. Most women know these individuals as mom – no offense.
If you don’t know anyone like this either a) you’ve already undergone the process I am about to discuss and you’ve cleaned all the crazy out of your closet or b) you need nothing more than to take a long, hard look in the mirror to what a crazy-maker looks like…you are the crazy-maker my friend!
The thing about crazy-makers is that we believe we can help them. Crazy makers aren’t crazy people. They are highly intelligent, witty and perceptive. When you speak with them you can’t help but see the logic in the words coming out of their mouths at the time. It is only after a little distance and a lot of reflection that you come to realize just how absurd 99.999% of their conversation actually is.
If you want to extinguish the crazy-makers (and the crazy they bring with them) from your life, you have to be willing to do a few crazy, outlandish things yourself. In fact, some of this stuff is so extraordinarily bizarre it just might be revolutionary.
- Love yourself
- Evaluate your alliances
- Reflect on the effects of your choices and the choices of your allies
Naturally I was being facetious when I said these activities are bizarre, but it’s no joke to call them revolutionary. Living a life free of drama, resistance, and discord is a revolutionary concept in today’s society. We are often so consumed with consuming that we forget that all our efforts are in fact to create harmony and flow. We forget that our desire in going to work is not to work ourselves to death for someone else, but to provide for ourselves and our families; to have enough to sustain ourselves and even enjoy a few things in life. We get so caught up in the hustle and bustle that crazy becomes the norm instead of the exception. We begin to overlook our friends’ tendencies to play the victim role. We disregard our partner’s blatant disrespect for our wishes. We shrug our shoulders and say, “It is what it is.”
But we weren’t meant to live this way. We were meant to live in harmony, peace and bliss. We were meant to be happy; to feel fulfilled. We were meant to be loved, cherished and cared for. And we were meant to love, cherish and care for others.
When you know and understand these things, you simply can’t accept crazy. (Sorry Mom). Something inside you yearns for clarity, understanding, and focus. You crave consistency and flow.
Now, this doesn’t mean you pine for boring. You can have a very exciting, nurturing, fun, and spontaneous existence without the crazy. Perhaps your job requires you to travel all over the world meeting new people, creating new things or making new discoveries. Maybe you are responsible for writing and reporting last-minute, cutting-edge news. Those of you with a flair for the dramatic might find yourselves center stage in the theater and/or film industries, where you are guaranteed never to have the same day twice.
Yes, you can live a happy, healthy, harmonious existence that borders on hectic without the frustration, drain and even guilt.
Think about the last time you felt overwhelmed. How much of it was you and how much of it was you trying to please someone else? When we do things for ourselves we often don’t feel as drained though we are much more likely to feel guilty afterward. When we’re trying to please others, however, we tend to go overboard. We feel drained, overwhelmed and anxious but at least the job is done.
Look long and hard – you’re a crazy-maker. You are placing yourself in the role of the victim. Will they like me even if I can’t come through for them? Will they think I’m a fraud if I don’t know all the answers? Will my mom stop talking to me for the umpteenth time this month because I didn’t stop by for dinner?
The fact of the matter is, when our lives are filled with crazy-makers, it is more than likely because we’re making a little crazy, too. We teach people how to treat us. We teach them what our priorities are. We let them who and what is important in our lives. We show them what we value. It doesn’t matter what we say about these things, ultimately our actions communicate the truth.
If you want people to know that you want a life filled with harmony, blessings and abundance then you have to place those things among your top priorities. You have to love your Self and teach others how to love you, too. Believe me when I say, eliminating the crazy makes the world a wonderful place.
Good luck and Namaste!