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Okay, I have to ask you all something.

Events over these last few weeks have left me questioning my life to date, which has also prompted me to evaluate the people in it. But as always, as I come to understandings in my life I like to pass these lessons along to others.So here goes:

Can you keep up? Do you have the endurance, stamina and wherewithal to help manifest a dream into reality? Do people look to you for guidance? When folks are looking to you to have their back are you right there – pumped, prepped and ready to go? Or are you on partner’s back, being carried?

I would was thinking about this because I’m in the process of redesigning my support team.  It has come to my attention that no one in my life has ever done what I’m attempting to do.  This means it’s imperative that I surround myself with new people; people with a different vision, mission and background.

If there is one thing you can’t do, it’s learn how to succeed by building your legacy on the failure of others. Now, this doesn’t mean that the people in my life are failures. It isn’t that they’ve set out to achieve the same things I desire to and failed, but rather they haven’t even attempted it.  As a result, they aren’t properly aligned to guide me toward where I’m going.  But I want to be sure that they have what it takes to push me along.

You need people in your life who guide and people who push.  The ones who guide have been there and done that.  They know what it takes to excel in an area and can articulate the process for you.  As you press forward they can tell you if you’re on- or 0ff-track.  The wisdom they’ve obtained from their experiences will benefit your endeavors. These folks serve your light through the dark places.  They make the unknown known to you so that you might have the life you desire and deserve.

On the other hand, there are the people who will push you.  These are the people who are moving forward in their own lives.  They may not have achieved the things you’re striving for – they may not even be familiar with it – but they encourage you to pursue your dreams.  These are the people who stand in your corner.  They give you words of encouragement or a shoulder to cry on.  They pick you up when you fall down. They pep you up and keep you from wallowing in self-pity.  These folks refuse to let you live outside your purpose. They know who you are and what you’re worth and they’ve got your back.

If there is anything I’ve learned it’s that a lot of people may be behind you, but it’s up to you to stay abreast of what they’re doing back there.  Do these people have your back or are they on your back? Are they back there working as hard as you are, or are you carrying them?  And what’s the motivation? When people love you and have a genuine desire to see you do well, they’ll carry their own weight. They’re not looking for a free ride.  As Patti LaBelle has said, “No one is allowed to ride with me in my limo if they wouldn’t ride with me on the bus.”

But how do you find such people? How can you assure that folks are really in your corner and not just using you?  Well, the answer is two-part.  The first part deals with how you treat yourself.  Next is about how you treat others.

I say it all the time, but only because it’s SO true.  If you love yourself others will love you, too.  You teach people how to treat you.  Your investments show them where your priorities lie. Not just investments in money, but investments in time and energy as well. If you want people to take care of the things that mean the most to you, you must care for them first. If you want people to look upon your endeavors with serious consideration, you have to take them seriously first.  But loving yourself isn’t enough to get people on your team.

You teach others how to love, care, support and interact with you based upon how you treat yourself.  But how you treat others gives people an idea of what you think of interpersonal encounters.  If you’re rude and inconsiderate, people consider that you don’t take feelings into account and are likely to disregard yours.  If you tend not to call people until you need their help but don’t reciprocate, you’ll soon find you have a very transient support team. People won’t want to be called upon without knowing they can do the same in return.  You may be able to call on them once or twice, but the you’ll have to go to the next group of unsuspecting souls.  You’ll also find that people will only pop up when they need something from you. Essentially, you’ve given folks the impression that long-term, meaningful connections aren’t important to you.

This has been a point of focus for me in the last few weeks as I am working toward manifesting my goals.  Am I keeping up? Am I supporting the visions of those around me? How much of myself am I giving and to whom? What am I telling people about me by the way I treat myself? What am I showing folks that I want from them based on my treatment of those around me?


As you embark on your endeavors during this next week, consider what you are teaching people about yourself by your treatment of Self and your treatment of them.  Our final destinations may be different, but while we are on this journey together why not make the most of it? So, keep up and keep on.


Good luck and Namaste!