Before I begin let me just say I am noticing a pattern, it doesn’t matter how early I start my posts – 12 am, 7 am, 10 am, etc – I never seem to finish them in time. It seems that my posts are completed every other day. Hence, one is on time while the other is a day late.
In an effort to remedy this, I’m going to attempt writing THREE posts today. I’ve completed and posted yesterday’s writing, then there is this piece for today, and once done I will work on tomorrow’s. Then tomorrow, I will work on the next day’s piece – and so on and so forth.
Normally, I don’t share what I’m doing behind the scenes, my writing process, etc. But today, I felt it correlated so nicely with my topic I figured, “why not?”
You see, writing is a. Very important part of my life. Transferring verbal language into written form is cathartic for me. And not just my blog, either. I have “journals for days”. Nearly every category of my life has a journal where I catalog my feelings and reflect. It’s the reflection of these many smaller parts that allows me to deal effectively with my whole Self. I better understand my perspectives and perceptions about various things, and as a result I know without a doubt who I am (and Whose I am…there’s a faith-reflection journal, too).
Yes, all that writing keeps me sane…it makes me happy. It’s evident to those who know me that I’m a happy person. Not much seems to get to me. In fact, that’s had it’s downside for a while.
I wanted to take some time to address a small group of readers who can relate to this quandary: You are very happy. You live your life looking at the glass half-full. Not much gets under your skin. Sure, you have bills to pay like anyone else – you might even be in debt. Perhaps your kids are unruly, your spouse is a whack-jo!n and you’re on the verge of unemployment more often than you’d like. But through it all you keep smiling. You’d love some help – in fact, you downright need it. But no one ever seems to offer you anything.
If this is you; if you’re smiling through the hurt to the point where no one would believe your story if you told it to them; if you could desperately use some advice or a helping hand, but no one ever offers you either, then this is what you do: ASK!
Yes, sometimes we become so accustomed to smiling through the pain that we forget one of the fastest, most effective ways to alleviate it is to ask for the help we need.
Are you afraid to ask? Perhaps you believe people will take advantage of you. Well, then my next question is, why are you smiling? Do you smile because you know in your heart everything will be okay or because you want people to believe that about you?
If you really are a glass half-full kinda kid, then you know people usually want to help someone else out of a tough spot. Wouldn’t you do it if you had the means? Maybe you’re already someone with whatever you’ve got to give – time, talent, energy, insight.
So ask for the help you need. It’s unfortunate, but as a society, our social-emotional intelligence in waning. When people see a smile on your face they presume “it’s all good.” You’re expected to be downtrodden, exasperated and discombobulated if things are bad enough for you to need help. But what most folks who need help (or have ever needed help) understand is that by then the situation is typically dire and requires drastic measures to be made right again.
As always, I had to learn this lesson myself. Looking at my life about now, there’s so much wrong some would say nothing is right. And yet, through it all I’m smiling. I smile because deep down I know it won’t be like this forever. I’ve had hard time before and I always come out on top better than I was when things unraveled.
People know my situation, they know I’m struggling and how bad off I am, but no one seems to just offer their help. But I’m not a prideful person (proud yes, but not prideful) so I’m okay about asking for help. I’m alright if people tell me no, because I know all my help comes from the Source anyway. So when one person says no, two or three more say yes. (And interestingly enough, the person who told me “no” needed some help of their own and I wound up helping HER out of a jam!)
Without a better social-emotional base, we’re not very attuned to each other. We see a smile and presume all is well. So when it’s not you’ve got to ask.
And for those of you in a position to help (that’s everyone – hint, hint) don’t be afraid to offer. Be realistic, put it out there and then follow-up and follow-through. The world will be a better place if you do.
As always, good luck and Namaste.