For those of you who follow my blog and other posts, you may have noticed a change on my WordPress site. The Life & Times of the Blue Jean Diva has recently been changed to Goddess (aka God Is) Training. Some of you may be asking yourselves, why the change? Others might not care, so long as the writings continue. Others still may not care at all.
Well, regardless of what group you fall into – you’re here now, so I’ll share.
Some time ago, when things started to come undone in my life, I realized that I was at a loss for sage wisdom. There were few elders in my life whom I wanted to emulate; individuals whom I could look to and say, “Teach me. Oh, wise one.” I went out in search of them only to come up lost, confused, and empty-handed.
So…I decided to be my own sage. I would learn what I needed to know by acquiring information and resources; placing myself at the feet (and mercy) of those who were doing what I wanted to do – who had been where I wanted to go…even if it did mean serious changes in scenery and surroundings.
In the midst of it all, I documented. I created programs, workshops and seminars that outlined my growth process and techniques. I created assessments and other curriculum to help streamline the social-emotional learning experience. These programs are now known as The Princess Protocol and King Arthur Conundrum, Mis-Education of Matrimony and The Royal Relay, to name a few. I wrote books, created handouts and designed a host of other materials. I had a wealth of information, but I was missing a vital component – Spirit.
Much of my work excluded my own spiritual development throughout this process – the very cornerstone of my strength. So, I went back and revamped everything, sure to include a more spiritual aspect this go-round. Rather than ascribe the royal concept to African ancestry I considered the power of being children of the One who is King of Kings. I attested that all females at all times in their lives are D.I.V.A.*s – Divinely Inspired Vessels of the Almighty. Some women would become princesses and others queens, while a select few would know what it would mean to be an empress one day.
At the time, I thought that was my calling – to be an empress. I felt that women like Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King and Maya Angelou were empresses and I would be on their level. But, as time passed I could see where God was calling me to something very different – very unique. Though my title might be empress, my calling would be that of goddess.
Yeah, it confused the heck out of me too.
God what showing me that I was to be a feminine vessel of his divine power. My responsibility would be to CREATE emperors and empresses the world over. Now, to take a look at my life today there is more than enough reason to think I’m crazy. My marriage is still in shambles (that’s a book in progress because a blog won’t do), I’m still a single mom, I’m still living in someone else’s home, and I’m still unemployed. And YET…I am clothed, fed and well cared for. My son and I are loved (and blessed beyond compare). By the grace of God, my car note was fully paid, my insurance is covered and money ebbs and flows in the forms of gifts from those whom I’ve unknowingly served – with words of wisdom, kind deeds, resources and services – just being me.
Am I where I want to be? Ha! Heck no, not even a little bit. But with each passing day I can see how I am exactly where I need to be. These experiences are lessons learned. The trials are points of resistance to build my strength for the tasks to come. Even in the midst of all my adversities, I see where I have been a blessing to others – some of you right here on the Internet. Women and men of all ages, backgrounds and socioeconomic status tell me how my faith and stance throughout my journey has helped them overcome some things. Marriages have been restored in the midst of my divorce. Families have been mended even as mine quarrels. Dreams are pursued even as mine are revamped and revisited.
So why change from Diva to Goddess (in training)? Well…growth. I am still a divinely inspired vessel, but now I’m a ship on the water instead of a jar on the shelf. I’m no longer JUST being poured into blessing people impassively with my overflow. Now, I’m moving and going. I’m wider and fuller with more to take in and more to give. The content, context and delivery are all different. Yet oddly enough, the same materials used to make the vase can be found on that ship.
This Goddess Training is not about some self-serving, self-worship. It’s all about my process of growing stronger, going deeper and getting further by submitting myself to this idea of being a feminine conduit of God’s divine power. It’s Goddess Training because God is training me.
Are you ready for boot camp?