It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here. Technical difficulties and all other manner of complications have kept me away from what I love to do most.
With the recent deaths of loved ones (and beloved things) I even contemplated if I should have a passing ceremony for my Blackberry and the space bar of my laptop. It seemed like life was hitting me hard and the one thing I felt kept me sane was suddenly stripped away.
Well, when those things happen I’ve learned that the best option is to find a new outlet. I ressurected some old school writing techniques, reached out to old friends and even spent more time ministering to folks (which turned out to be the rebirth of a dream deferred).
There was one person to whom I ministered during this time that I didn’t expect to hqve some a profound impact on me. I’d hoped that my words (and actions) might help change them, but it was me who did most of the changing.
Some months ago, while my (still-not-yet-ex) husband and I were in the midst of a heated discussion I saw something in him that frighten and emboldened me. And being the Intuitive being that I am I said something that I would totally forget only to be right about later, which of course would shock me…because i’d forgotten.
I told him, “You’re going through something that you can’t get out of alone. You’ve opened doors that only the grace of God can close. It’s going to get dark on your journey…very dark, but I’m going with you – all the way – to ensure with my owneyes that you come out again.”
Don’t ask me why I said it. Within days he’d done something to piss me off and I was washing my hands of him. Hours later I was convicted and back to praying, fasting and encouraging. Then he’d piss me off again and i’d soon be out.
I can’t count how many times I underwent this process before it clicked…you’re going down a dark hall.
As a young girl, I read a book entitled Down a Dark Hall in which a group of girls are chosen to attend a prestegious boarding school. But secretly the headmaster is pimping the girls’ hidden extrasensory powers (ESP) to channel dead artisans like Picasso and Bach to sell masterpieces and keep the school open.
Unbeknownst to the headmasters, their newest class is so powerful they can channel otherworldly beings in their sleep! The girls and their school are in jeopardy. But one of the young girls has made a connection with a young man, the headmaster’s son. They bond and sense each other (like Edward and what’s-her-name before Twilight was even a thought). This young man is her protector and saves her from the spirits possessing her (and from herself) on more than one occasion.
The climax of the book finds him following her spirit-possessed body down a dark hall into a dark room. It’s the only way to learn what these spirits are after and how to drive them out.
Well, by now you’re likely wondering why in the hell I would be following anyone through anything that I would compare to that? You might also be wondering why I would be following someone I’m reffering to as my “not-yet-ex-husband?” And if you’ve been with me any length of time, you may be wondering why in tarnations my tail is following THAT “not-yet-ex-husband” (though if you’re like me you probably wanted to call him something else there but (hopefully) decided against it.
Well, as I’ve mentioned in posts past (I pray for my husband and even his mistresses). I pray for them because they directly affect one of the most precious gifts in this world, with which I have the pleasure of being entrusted: my son.
So, why follow him down a dark hall, alley or to the edge of the cliff…because my son (like any boy in his right mind) will grow up wanting to walk in the footsteps of his father. And my prayer is, has been and will always be that my son will be agreat man because of his father, not despite him.
Yes, it’s amazing how being technologically deprived can work wonders for your spiritual resolve. I’m still in the dark, but I’m a beacon of light.
What/Who do you love enough to journey down a dark hall? If you don’t know, try spending a few days without all the electronics and see if it comes to you.
As always, good luck and Namaste. Grace and peace be with you.