, , , , , , ,

If you’re anything like me you’ve had the occasional instance of deja vu. Perhaps a dream that came true or a feeling that when followed led you to “the right place at the right time”.

Yeah, that’s my every day…except when it isn’t.

Several years ago, while pregnant I had dreams that would come true within a matter of hours after waking up. I had several that clued me in to my then-husband’s whereabouts and activities. And though he’d love to believe someine must have “ratted him out”, the only culprits were himself and the Man Upstairs.

If I’ve learned anything from those dreams and the many others I’ve had, it’s to never give up hope…even when it looks impossible.

In fact, there are a few dreams I had during that time that I’m still waiting on to come to pass.

It hasn’t always been easy, and there have been times where I’ve likely reset the clock on what could’ve been (or eradicated the possibility altogether) with my impatient impulses, but I do my best.

In fact, I was certain when I relocated almost 2 years ago that I was going to meet the man of my dreams here and get married. Not because of me, but because suddenly my premonitions made sense. Places I’d never been in my dreams, I now lived around the corner from. Things I never intended to study, which made me gaff in my dreams, were offered to me rather whimsically in real life. Things I’d forgotten I’d seen in my dream were flashed back into focus as they played out around me.

I began to open myself up to the idea of love and happiness. I would finally have everything I wanted: a great place to live with an amazing quality of life, a phenomenal career and romance that would put a Harlequin novel to shame. Okay, maybe not the perfect life, but perfect for me. And I was ready.

But then it all stopped. The daily reminders, the replays, everything. Suddenly I was in a new place with all new issues.

I was a new mom with a new job and I’d just returned to school. My mom was here to help, but fell ill so I spent more time helping her. With my son’s primary childcare provider out of the mix, I had to find an alternative and fast. A feat that proved next to impossible given my time constraints.

It was a disaster. Forget dreams, I barely slept. Before long I was burning the candle at both ends and then I was sick. I gained 35 pounds and nearly had a breakdown because I – Miss Frugality – had spent a pretty penny investing in a new wardrobe (I’d lost 82 pounds) that now didn’t fit.

It didn’t take long after my health and finances took a turn before doubt and fear showed up on the scene.

I shouldn’t be here. Why did I think I could do this now? I need to leave school and get a “real job.” And how an I going to lose ask this weight? No one is going to want me now. No one is even looking.

I felt like I was kidding myself. I’d lost my grip. I was losing myself, my time, my freedom, my fun…my life.

Something must have changed. There’s a glitch in the matrix! What was once so close was now not even on the distant horizon.

I fasted and prayed and though things didn’t change right away, they did change. I’m still in school, though not working for them anymore. I’ve resumed my business ventures and slowed my studies to part-time. Having more time for my mother and soon, has helped us all through.

My mother is still recovering, and it’s far more impressive than it had been. My son is enrolled in a wonderful school, which he loves (and they love him).

I’m dating, kinda. Nothing too serious or consistent, but it gets me out of the house and around grownups for a few hours.

And sometimes, every once in a while when I’m not expecting it, things will happen to let me know I’m headed in the right direction.

A small part of me still believes that one day I’ll smack, quite literally, into whatever it was my Intuitive dreams were clueing me into – whether love, career our a travel opportunity. It’s probably the only “accident” I wouldn’t mind having. But for now I wait.

I don’t know why I saw what I saw. But I know I’ve seen enough to know you don’t lose hope. And so….I keep the high watch and I wait.

If I can encourage you to do anything today, it’s to hold on and wait. Your dreams will come true.

As always, good luck and God bless.